


On my skin

by Aalvina



Series: In another world [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Lack of Communication, M/M, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Warlock Alec Lightwood, centuries goes by
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-02 23:22:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15806640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aalvina/pseuds/Aalvina
Summary: Alec is a warlock, so is Magnus. When you fall in love with your soulmate his or her name gets written on your body. Alec falls in love with Magnus, getting his soulmark but hides it, because Magnus only sees him as a friend.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well I'm back with this series. I've wanted to write a soulmate AU for a while but I wanted people to have a choice not for it to be : "here's your soulmate, fall in love." ^^ Hope you like it.

Being a warlock Alexander Lightwood dreaded falling in love. His mother had explained to him that once he fell in love with his soulmate, the name of said person would appear somewhere on his skin. The problem was, Alec was immortal, if his soulmate was a mortal he would have to watch him die and spend the rest of his immortal life alone.

However life would be way more cruel because Alec soulmate happened to be another warlock.

 

He met Magnus during his childhood, after his mother found out his warlock mark she left him abandonned near a forest. Like the beginning of every tale ever told except this one was real and the eight year old Alec was scared to death of the trees and noises that echoed around him, in despair he activated his magic, opening a portal wanting to find somewhere safe. He ended up in front of a huge mansion in the middle of London and Magnus was smiling at him next to the door.

 

Ragnor had built this home for young warlocks during the middle ages, no one knew how old he really was but when he started to shelter children he was already a lord that ate at the King's table. Disappearing to the countryside every 50 years and using quite a bit of glamour spells he kept his home safe from all changes of dyansties, wars and witch hunt that took place in England. Magnus was five years older than Alec and had became his best friend. Growing up in the 17th century Alec had struggled with his feelings of attraction toward boys and not girls. He remembered crying in Ragnor's lap and if Ragnor was mostly stern, he had a sweet love for all the children he welcomed and had comforted him all night long.

« Everything is normal, boys can love boys, girls can love girls or both or none. We have the gift and curse of immortality. Right now you might have to be careful, hide your preferences, I have hope people will understand it doesn't matter who we love. »

 

His friendship with Magnus sometimes felt weaker at times, when the five years distance between them was too much, but he stayed Alec's best friend through the years and slowly Alec was falling for him. At first he filed the feeling under teenage infatuation, ignoring the twinge of ache he felt each time Magnus had a new boyfriend or girlfriend. The fact that Magnus was also attracted to men made ignoring his own feeling much more difficult.

For Alec's 25th birthday, Magnus dragged him to crash Louis XIVth of France wedding. Alec was never much of a party guy, he had spent most of his childhood in Ragnor's home studying with him, only going out when Magnus had pouted long enough to make him give up.

 

Magnus was single at the time so he flirted with everyone, Alec had to discourage him from trying to make a pass at the newly weds and in exchange he agreed to drink with Magnus. Too much.

They had been strolling together near the pier of the city Saint-Jean-de-Luz when Magnus stopped him and kissed him quick and soft. Alec stood shocked and Magnus teased him.

« Come on, it's just a party. »

Alec gave up on the restrains he had put on his heart and plunged for another, deeper kiss to which Magnus responded with equal fervor.

However as they stopped Magnus took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

« Gosh. We're very drunk. » And Alec only nodded in agreement even if it felt like all the rush from the alcool had dropped and left him pinning for a man that regretted their kiss.

« We should get back. I have a class to teach the young ones at Ragnor. » proposed Alec as he extended his hand so Magnus would take it. But the other man shook his head.

« No. I don't live there anymore, I think I'm gonna go back to the party. You can open a portal safely ? »

His question was laced with the same concern he always had for Alec. As his friend. Alec nodded and watched as Magnus walked away, leaving him alone, his arms swinging softly by his side. He opened a portal, ignored Ragnor grumpy reaction to his late arrival and sat down, his fancy suit contricted him and he struggled with it before remembering he had magic. His breath got more shallow with each passing seconds, his heart beating a mile a minute, and his wrist burned. He knew what it meant but was scared as hell as he looked upon Magnus name written on the inside of his right wrist. Sobbing, he laid in his bed and let despair and sleep win.

 

* * *

 

 

As years passed, Alec wore long sleeves shirts or coats until its was too hot for them and Magnus moaned.

« You're depriving the world of you amazing muscular arms Alexander. It's a sin. Go change in some short sleeves or I'll undress you myself ! »

And Alec relented, covering his soulmate mark with a leather wristband he had all the time. The trick with soulmarks was that you could not use glamour on them, so people got very creative with them.

He heard of mortals revealing the mark to their soulmates so they could be together longer but Alec hated the idea, it was like forcing someone to fall in love with you. Besides they might never love you or ended up being someone else soulmate. It was rare, but it happened. Alec was immortal, so was Magnus. He would wait. If he could only be his friend so be it.

 

They had great adventured in Versailles, sneaked into Japan when it was still close to foreigners, glamour helping them. Sometimes Alec stayed somewhere, letting Magnus travel the world with another. It was always the decision, when the heart ache was too much, when he realized he was immortal with a soulmate that would never love him back or know how he felt.

Each time Magnus begged him to stay with him. Each time they fought, Alec always said it was because of some High warlock position that opened up and Magnus would scream but he always sent letters and came back a few years after. In 1853 they had their worst argument.

« As always ! You prefer work rather than enjoying life ! Why do you take these jobs ?! You hate people. »

« I don't hate them. »

« Liar, since we were kids you prefered studying or training instead of spending times with other children. You're cold and frigid ! No lover in what ? Two centuries ? »

« It's none of your buisness ! What if I don't want to go from one lover to another ? I never judged your life ! » He hesitated his next words. « What if I want to wait for my soulmate ? »

« Until when ? You might have missed him, he might be born in decades ! What's the point of being immortal if you spend the years cooped up inside some library ! How are we even friends ? »

Magnus must have regretted the words as soon as he said it because silence fell suddenly on them.

He bit his lower lip and suddenly opened a portal.

« I'm tired of forcing you to live your life Alexander. I'm not trying anymore. You'll always be special but I think we … I don't think we're really friends anymore. » and he left.

 

Magnus fell in love several times as years had become decades that turned into centuries. Justin, Yoon-Su, Ravi and Camille.

As promised, he never wrote to Alec, and though Alec tried to contact him several times he never answered. Four years later, Ragnor had convinced Alec to go see him in person.

« He needs you. He's been, very depressed lately. » he had said and Alec had portalled to Paris where Magnus was, only to be welcomed by a beautiful blonde woman drapped over Magnus back.

« Hello... I... wanted to see you. How you were. » stuttered Alec to the amusement of the woman.

« I'm fine Alexander. I'm great even. Now if you'll excuse me I have places to be. » he said, voice cold, eyes piercing and slamed the door in Alec's face.

He stayed there frozen. Somewhat Alec always hoped he would be welcomed back in Magnus life. He jumped a bit when the door opened again but was disappointed to see it was the woman.

« Hi cutie. I'm Camille, sorry but Magnus is in a mood, shadowhunters are being loud. You now how they can be. » her voice was warm, almost welcoming but her next words stung at the deepest of Alec's soul. « You weren't there when he needed you, I was. Now, he doesn't need you. You'll only hurt him more and probably you too. Stay away boy. »

 

Alec did not see Magnus for a hundred years after that day.

 


	2. Once again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is bad with emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... you all are gonna hate me. Sorry. I couldn't resist a cliffhanger. 
> 
> Magnus is not the bad guy, he's just.... scared and Alec is... well not very open about his feelings too. Like always, if only they talked ^^

Magnus was working on a complex spell book when Catarina entered his loft without even a knock and flopped down on his couch.

« So.... I have news. » she started

« I'm listening. »

« You know when I told you I found something amazing about six years ago ? »

« And never told me what ? Yes ! I'm still mad at you about this secret. »

« Well, it's Ragnor's real age. I know it. »

Magnus dropped his book and rushed toward Catarina, grabbing her shoulders, an overexagerated scared expression on his face.

« It has to be sure, you can't play with me about this info. I need it to be true ! »

« It is... and we're throwing him a big big party next month. »

« How big ? »

« Millenial big. »

Magnus shoulder shook and he erupted in a loud evil laugh that Catarina barely acknowledge.

« Oh ! Things to do. I need to annoy this dear Ragnor. A 1000 years ! It's amazing. »

 

Catarina left him to his own little word and slowly took an enveloppe out of her coat, putting it on the coffee table. That drew Magnus attention and he stopped.

« Just so you know, every child Ragnor rescued will be there. Alec too. »

Magnus looked into her eyes and nodded, Catarina sighed and left him to his thought, using a portal to get home.

 

Alec. He was going to see Alec again, he felt sick, extactic, scared to death, yearning. Looking around him he just realized Catarina had left. It had been a century since he last saw Alec and the memories hurt just like yesterday. Maybe more, heavy with so many « what ifs », what if he had called Alec when everything was so depressing in 1857, when he met Camille. What if they did not argue so much when Alec stopped traveling with him. What if, what if. So many and one, dangerous that he rarely dared to consider. What if he had let himself feel the kiss they shared back in 1660 at Louis XIVth wedding. Closing his eyes he tried to remember it but as memories do when you're hundred of years old, they escaped him, blurring.

He wasted 70 years of his life with Camille, Magnus had always tried not to think about soulmate, the subject way too depressing for immortals and yet, he felt so passionate for the vampire that he found himself wishing she could be it, they could be happy together for eternity.

Camille dismissed his feelings, saying soulmates were a silly things, she convinced him to enjoy every day as they come, supressing his hopes and dreams of a long solid relationship.

 

Through the years they broke up and got together again until Magnus had found enough good friends to help him realize he deserved more than the constant heartbreak he got from her.

He wanted to see Alec again, even though he knew his feelings felt justified back then, always seeing his bestfriend abandon him for jobs he didn't seem to really care about. He could feel Alec trying to create some distance, so Magnus finished the job. Friends grew apart right ?

 

* * *

 

 

The party was huge, they had to create a castle from all their magic to let everyone stay the night. It was a huge feat, proof of how important Ragnor had been for all of them. He was actually very moved when he arrived at the venue with Catarina, then very moody once he saw the enormous cake Magnus had created to support exactly a thousand tiny candles that he blew with a tiny bit help from his magic.

He saw Alec standing on the other side of the room, laughing with students of Ragnor, he looked up and stared at Magnus before leaving for the garden where some guests had already spread the party.

As the night advanced Magnus stopped feigning interest on what was said to him, he gathered his courage and went to search Alec. It took him a while but he found him near a fountain surrounded with a labyrinth. He frowned at the exhuberance of what their magic had accomplished and approched Alec.

« Hi. »

« Hi. »

« I... I'm sorry. For what I said, back then. » the words started flowing and he couldn't stop him. « I felt I was losing you and I thought, it would be easier to rip the bandage, to hurt a lot from losing you once and for all instead of feeling the loss getting bigger with time. I never asked you why you kept your distance. I'm a coward. »

« You are. » was the only answer he got and though true, it awoke a rage within Magnus.

« Well ! You never said anything ! I'm not a freaking psychic ! I had issues too. I just wanted to know what you wanted ! » he yelled louder and louder until Alec stopped him in a deep kiss, their theet almost hitting, tongues immediately searching for the other.

« What I wanted... » murmured Alec low and he stepped back, leaving the choice to Magnus.

In a second Magnus grabbed Alec's lapel and kissed him again. Their hands eager to discover the body under the clothes starting pulling shirts away from their pants. In a last intellectual thought, Alec opened a portal and they fell through it, immediately on his bed.

 

Normally Magnus would made a joke about how eager Alec was but tonight he did not care. Snapping his fingers, Alec's shirt disappeared and Magnus caressed his skin, tongue tracing the neck, collarbone, chest, bellybutton until Alec was breathing heavily and vanished the rest of their clothes in a small hand gesture. Their kissing grew more soft and Magnus forgot where they were for a second until he moaned as their cocks brushed together. Shivering, he kissed Alec once more and magiced a bottle of lube and a condom. Hands grabbing, thrust slow and growing more powerful as both men lost notions of time and were only guided by the cries of their newfound lover.

 

Magnus woke up with sore muscles but his heart squeezing with happiness, he turned around on the bed so he could look at Alec who was lying in his stomach, hands near his head. He looked so perfect, everything felt like it was fitting together finally and just as Magnus was allowing all his well constructed walls to come down his eyes caught sight of a dark line at the edge of Alec's wrist. His heart stopped and he scrumbled out of bed, his breathing getting quicker and shallower. He knew what this was, this was an old soulmark. Alec was in love with someone, he had a soulmate.

He suddenly felt sick at the idea of having slept with someone's soulmate, of tainted a sacred bound, he hurried to the shower and just as the water hit his face, tears started flowing. A feeling of pinching had him out of the shower, staring at the mirror and he stared down in horror as the beginning of the _A_ letter appeared on his collarbone. A deep rooted fear took over his thoughts and he refused the mark, wishing for it to stop, focusing all his feelings away from love and heartbreak and on anger and resentment. How could Alec do that ? How could he make love to him like that when he was still in love. Magnus muffled another sob, hearing Alec getting out of bed. There were very few rules to soulmate marks.

 

You got it when you fell in love with your soulmate.

It was red the first day and then turned black.

It faded and disappeared once you stopped loving your soulmate.

 

Alec soulmate was black and very visible. Berating himself he calmed down, building all of his walls up, he snapped an outfit that hid the beginning of Alec's name in his skin and got out.

Alec smiled at him but lost his happiness once he saw the look on Magnus' face. Breathing deeply Magnus said :

« We should have never done that. We can't be together. We're just not... right. »

It hurt like hell to see Alec's face decompose like that but Magnus focused on the leather wristband Alec was wearing to hide his mark, even though he only had a shirt and boxer on.

« How many times are you gonna break my heart. »

« I'm sorry. » was all Magnus said before he left Alec's appartment, leaving him alone. Once again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so !! Please comment they actually helped me because I did not imagine Magnus was going to be so hated. 
> 
> Plus ^^ I need to know if you want an epilogue along with the last chapter?


	3. On our skins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had a lot on my plate in my life. This is the reason I took so long to finish this fic.   
> I tried real hard to show how messed up people can act when feelings take over logic. ^^ Please Magnus is not that bad, yes he acted poorly but he tries to change. 
> 
> As promised, an epilogue to satisfy fluff in this angsty world.

« You're a stupid man. »

Magnus had been suffering Catarina's scolding for hours. « You get with Alec, finally realize he's your soulmate and you push him away ? What did you think ?! »

« He loves someone else ! » shouted Magnus, exhausted.

« You haven't seen the name, you didn't ask him anything ! His soulmate might have died or might not love him back ! Did you think of that ? »

Magnus stayed silent.

« Is Alec, your former bestfriend, your freaking soulmate a man to sleep with someone if he was in a relationship ? »

« No ? I don't know, it's been a century since I last saw him. Maybe he changed, maybe. »

« Maybe you should talk to him to find out if he changed. » her tone changed to get very sweet. « He's your soulmate, you love him. Try. »

 

Magnus let a tear escape his eye. His lip trembling, he finally admitted what was really going on.

« I'm scared. »

« I know. »

« I'm gonna lose him. Again. »

« You will, if you don't talk to him. »

 

It took three days for Magnus to find out where Alec was staying, he had fished out an omamori Alec had given him for his 50th birthday but the trace of Alec's magic was too faint. So Magnus went and pleaded for Ragnor to help him, only to get the name of a city and a warning glare. Once he arrived in Beijing he had tracked down Alec's whereabouts within the downworld community and had found out that Alec was still very much an ermite but always ready to help.

 

Now he was standing in front of Alec who glared at him but still let him in. Words stuck in his throat, he fiddled with his collar that hid his soulmark. Magnus saw Alec was about to speak and fearing words of rejection he blurted out what he came to say.

 

« I was scared in 1660 when we kissed, scared of what it meant and to lose you because of it, I was desperate each time you left me. And wanted you by my side forever, trying to be with you was too dangerous for me. Too much to lose. »

« Why did you kiss me back at the party then ? » Alec asked cold, distant, his heartbreak clear in his eyes and Magnus started to hope.

« Cause I wanted you. I wanted you all, forever, I wanted to stop running and jump. I wanted you to be my soulmate. »

« But I'm not. » concluded Alec, voice wavering and Magnus looked at him incredulous.

« Yes. You are, I just kept trying to convince myself I did not love you, I saw you had a soulmark and I just couldn't imagine sharing you. Living knowing I wasn't who you needed, who you deserved and wanted. »

Magnus lifted a trembling hand to slowly reveal Alec's name on his collarbone. Alec stares at him for the longest time before taking a step toward him and brushes the mark. His surprised expression is replaced by joy which is very quickly overtaken by anger.

 

« You asshole ! You were scared ? What do you think I was ? » He suddenly yanked his sleeve to show Magnus' name. « I've been in love with you for two centuries, watching you go from one relationship to another, and then you left. I was desesperate ! When we made love. I just... I just thought it was it. Finally with you, even if I might not be your soulmate. » his angry screams turned into breathless shouts as he suddenly let go of centuries of bottled feelings and cried. « I've waited for you so long, Magnus. I can't believe you just... stopped yourself from loving me. »

Magnus stayed silent. Lost. Alec loved him. He's Alec's soulmate. The news was already too much but what brought him to his knees was that Alec still loved him, never stopped. He bore his name on his skin for centuries.

« We haven spoken in a 100 years. How did the mark not disappear ? » he asked, his mind lost within too many emotions.

« It faded a bit but never disappeared. » admitted Alec.

« I don't deserve you. » sayed Magnus as a conclusion. He raised his eyes toward Alec's leaving him to decide.

 

* * *

 

Alec wanted to scream, to destroy everything around him. He was so lost, so used to his unrequired love that the fact Magnus loved him back was incompatible with what his heart could register. To think the man tried to stop loving him, that if he stayed and felt what Alec felt the night they kissed they could have been together for so long. Years wasted because Magnus was scared.

As Magnus looked at him, pleading with his eyes, Alec rage took over, a wish for payback that made him turn around and leave his own appartment, ignoring the cries he could hear from Magnus.

 

Alec left and ran, an action very few warlocks did but he always found peace in the run, the ache of his muscles. He found himself in front of the Beijing Institute and he felt brought back to the night he told his story to Will, a shadowhunter who actually knew Magnus when he was with Camille.

« Why did you never told him ? » he had asked with genuine curiosity.

« I didn't want him to feel forced to try loving him. I feared his pity. »

« Okay then. Why didn't you try to seduce him ? Or ask him on a date or something. »

Alec had stayed silent, realizing the thought never occured to him.

« I could have lost him. »

« You could have got him. » he had argued back to him.

 

God he hated how this mortal shadowhunter was right. Stupid cowards the both of them. Suddenly his thoughts camed rushing back, remembering he left a sobbing Magnus alone. A Magnus who loved him, who wanted him, who was his soulmate. And the amazing, unique joy every story about soulmate told about. The happiness of having found one another for good flowded his entire being, his lips stretching in a huge smile, he portalled back to his appartment. Magnus was sitting on his sofa, staying still, like a man waiting for the final blow. He refused to turn toward Alec so Alec came to sit next to him. He took his hands and Magnus took a deep shaky breath.

 

« I love you. » he said, simply because it was the one truth that never changed in his 300 years of life. Magnus looked at him and shook his head.

« I'm a coward. »

« I could have tried to win you over instead of waiting for you to come to me. I'm not better. » argued Alec and they stared at each over. Hope finally making its way back to the two men. Magnus leaned in slowly and dropped a quick kiss.

« I love you so much. » he whispered against Alec's lips.

« I've always loved you Magnus Bane. »

Magnu's hands gripped the shirt beneath his finger tips while Alec nuzzled his neck. It felt like waking for a long sleep, the world gaining new colors as the two lovers found themselves.

 

* * *

 

 

One morning, about two or three years into their relationship, Magnus and Alec received a fire message from orphenage. The old warlock had left, disappeared and left instructions so that the two of them kept the orphenage working. He had precised he waited for them _« to get their act together and realize they were in love. »._ Some said he died but Magnus was certain the old man finally took a thousand years worth of vacation. Though the responsability of dozens of kids were not in their plans for the future, Magnus and Alec rose to the challenge, with much help from Catarina. They had both travelled the world and found out their purpose in taking care of the new warlocks. However they knew the orphenage was not the best solutions and kept looking for new parents to adopt the children.

As the Twentyth century came to an end, Valentine uprising brought all downworlders closer together. Couples of vampire or werewolves came to adopt warlocks and the Spiral Labyrinth worked to stop the creation of new warlocks. Some still wanted the warlocks to keep growing in numbers and Magnus and Alec had to make their case, showing the suffering of raped women and the traumatised children were too much a sacrifice.

 

The world was changing and with the twenty-first century came what they never thought possible. Gay marriage started to be legal in several countries. They had never talked about it, their commitment far too strong to need such validation but the symbol of it but Magnus was yearning the official aspect of it.

 

2007 was their 50th anniversary and Magnus planned a trip to Saint-Jean-de-Luz and took Alec back where they kissed for the first time. It was a romantic gesture but it made Alec a bit antsy, memories from this night were not the happiest of his life. But Magnus was smiling and kissing him and held his hand as they visited like tourists the old buildings, laughing at the inaccuracy of what History had remembered.

In the evening, Magnus guided him to a secluded part of the beach, ignoring the joke Alec was telling, he fished out a ring box and kneeled in front of a shocked Alec.

 

« World is changing, finally. I can take your hand outside, and we can marry in Belgium, Canada or Spain. I spent the last 50 years promising myself to never run from you, no matter the hardship. So, marry me, until we're a thousand years old and decide to disappear together for a long time. »

« You're older than me, we can't be a thousand years old at the same time. » pointed out Alec, though his smile was already an answer, Magnus rolled his eyes and pleaded.

« Alexander... »

« Yes. I'll marry you every year in every country. »

Magnus rose form his kneeling position and put the ring on Alec before meeting him for a passionate kiss.

 

Being a warlock, falling in love with a warlock who loved you back, was the most perfect thing in the world.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your comments and kudos. Keep them coming. ^^ Did you like my ending? 
> 
> I have a bunch of short fic planned for this series of work. Stay tuned.

**Author's Note:**

> Next time, we have Magnus point of view. ^^  
> Please comment and leave kudos ^^ I'm curious to know what you think.


End file.
